If you live in Lebanon and have 4 or more Christian friends, you have definitely encountered the 3awne-but-not-3awne friend. The 3awne-but-not-3awne friend is part of a class of individuals with very peculiar properties.
A lot of the 3awne-but-not-3awne friend's properties are similar to properties of the 3awne individual - for example, the 3awne-but-not-3awne-friend exhibits selective Islamophobia and intense sectarianism coupled with 24/7 bashing of politicians and people in Lebanon for not putting Lebanon above everything.
The most fun property of the 3awne-but-not-3awne-friend is their incredible ability to:
Convo 1:
You: "Any thoughts on Syria?"
Her: "The regime is bad, but the rebels eat hearts for breakfast, children for lunch, and Christians for dinner! Aren'tYouScaredOfSunnis® Maaloula Maaloula Maaloula Maaloula Maaloula"
You: "But people will hate Christians more if they support a criminal regime that's oppressing them; even if this 'saves' the Christians in the short run it dooms them in the long run"
Her: "So you want to be ruled by cannibals and Al Qaeda? Aren'tYouScaredOfSunnis® Maaloula Maaloula Maaloula. At least when the regime was on top no one was dying"
You: "Anyone who raised their voice was dying! The uprising was peaceful but your friends from the Syrian regime did everything to lead up to this situation!!"
Her: "What do you mean 'your' friends? ShooBekManAnaManné3awné®"
A lot of the 3awne-but-not-3awne friend's properties are similar to properties of the 3awne individual - for example, the 3awne-but-not-3awne-friend exhibits selective Islamophobia and intense sectarianism coupled with 24/7 bashing of politicians and people in Lebanon for not putting Lebanon above everything.
The most fun property of the 3awne-but-not-3awne-friend is their incredible ability to:
- Use every classic argument present in the TayyarArguments® book
- Get out of any corner you put them in by using the magical ShooBekManAnaManné3awné® formula
Convo 1:
You: "Any thoughts on Syria?"
Her: "The regime is bad, but the rebels eat hearts for breakfast, children for lunch, and Christians for dinner! Aren'tYouScaredOfSunnis® Maaloula Maaloula Maaloula Maaloula Maaloula"
You: "But people will hate Christians more if they support a criminal regime that's oppressing them; even if this 'saves' the Christians in the short run it dooms them in the long run"
Her: "So you want to be ruled by cannibals and Al Qaeda? Aren'tYouScaredOfSunnis® Maaloula Maaloula Maaloula. At least when the regime was on top no one was dying"
You: "Anyone who raised their voice was dying! The uprising was peaceful but your friends from the Syrian regime did everything to lead up to this situation!!"
Her: "What do you mean 'your' friends? ShooBekManAnaManné3awné®"
Convo 2:
Him: "All politicians in Lebanon suck. They use us and lie to us and steal from us"
Me: "Yeah especially Aoun, all he cares about is being president!"
Him: "Yeah but he never stole anything. But they all suck"
Me: "Dude's allied to Hezbollah and they're ruining institutions and the country!"
Him: "Yeah I said they all suck! But Aren'tYouScaredOfSunnis®, HaririSucks®. They all suck"
Me: "Dude... Future movement is corrupt and weak but at least they don't assassinate their political foes! They have a minimum of respect for democracy, the constitution and the rule of law. You can't equate their problems with Hezbollah's problems!"
Him: "Ok bro rou2 as I was saying they all suck. Aslan ShooBekManAnaManné3awné®"
Me: [Facepalm]
Hahaha
ReplyDeletedelightful.
ReplyDeleteI might be one of those, and it's a pity you don't see that those people want a change but are not as blinded and fanatic as you are !
ReplyDeleteCongratulations, you have just invented a new species, the "3awne-but-not-3awne"BUTNOT"3awne-but-not-3awne"
DeleteI really don'tagree, and I don't consider myself a "3awne-bu-not-3awne". What about FL? you seem to forget they are the most fanatic Christians secte? oh but no He's a saint for going to jail 11 years -even though he made tons of money during that time-. Anyway, let's put all of this behind us, and just ask for a change and stop blaming each other
ReplyDelete